Right now I am sitting in my living room. The sky is just begining to dim(I love this time of day) my 3 little boys are giggling in their bedroom and my husband is walking in the door safe and sound. I am smiling because this moment is a snapshot of God’s great grace in my life. I don’t deserve any of what I am experiencing right now, yet somehow, I am being lavished upon by the One who loves me most.
As I think back over the last few weeks I really feel a sense of gratitude. It’s been so much fun. I’ve been able to cut a demo, go to a songwriters conference, and lead a night of praise and worship at my home church. These are all dreams fulfilled. I am so thankful that the Lord allows me to do what I love the most to honor Him. What could be better?
Over the last 6 months things have changed drastically for my family. My husband, after pastoring for nearly 20 years, felt the Lord moving Him from ministry into the secular business world. Talk about a crazy time! We have been hanging on waiting for the Lord to open doors, windows, or even a doggie door! He has kept us in the dark, forcing us to trust Him. Imagine that! Trust God? Really? It has been a time for us to put our money where our mouth is, and God has been faithful. I watch Him daily bring my frantic heart back to the rock solid truth of Scripture and cause me to truly believe Him when He says, “Nothing can separate me from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus.”Rom8:39.
I am learning daily to surrender my will and my plans to the Father’s desires for me – to make His desires my own. There is great peace in that. I still have many “freak out” moments as I wait on the Lord, but I feel myself growing and as the Apostle Paul said, “For momentary light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison” 2 Cor. 4:16. This isn’t all there is. In fact, the things we run from, pray against, cry and agonize over are most often things that the Lord is trying to use to bring us closer to Him. So, with fear and trembling I pray, “Lord, I am willing to be in the storm if that’s where You are.”